Episode 49: Expecto Patronum

Hello magical friends, and welcome to Episode 49 of WZRD Radio! I’m your hostwitch Bess, and this is your semi-regular reminder that if you’re not comfortable being part of the Harry Potter fandom, that’s fine. You can step away. JKR is making any association with her incredibly toxic. Even your hostwitch is moving her Harry Potter décor out of the more public parts of her home.

If you’re part of this community for life, let me point you to the Gayly Prophet’s “Guide to Firing JKR while keeping Harry Potter,” WZRD’s own Pinkie Promise to boycott the franchise and support trans rights, and the Trans Wrock Comp that features some of our queer and trans wrockers and allies.

I know it’s uncomfortable to talk about this subject and examine our feelings on it, but I think that’s part of what keeps us different from JKR; that we keep doing the hard work and examining our impact on other people.

To help as we process how we’re feeling, here’s some music! First up is “Knight Bus” by Knight Bus.


That was “Knight Bus” by Knight Bus [lyrics], “Mischief Managed” by Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls [lyrics], and Quickspell with “Not My Son” [lyrics].

This month’s wandoscope is for magical friends who carry wands of laurel.

Those are some high standards your wand sets, laurel carrier. Can’t act dishonorably? Often quest for glory? Refuses to tolerate laziness? You must have big plans in life. Luckily, this is a portentious month for you! Whatever you put out into the world right now is liable to come back to you two-fold, so think carefully about the kind of energy you want to direct at others–and yourself.

Our next music break starts with Siriusly Hazza P and “Malfoy is a Jerk.”


That was Siriusly Hazza P with “Malfoy is a Jerk” [lyrics], “Sunshine, Daisies, Butter Mellow” by Kwikspell [lyrics], and “I Don’t Need Divination” by RiddleTM [lyrics].

If you’re ready to be out and about in the world, here are some upcoming events:

Woodcraft Sacramento in California will be teaching a class today, May 1st, on turning your own wand. Now if they teach how to insert the core, Ollivander will be out of a job. [link]

There are just a couple spots left in Croc & Moi’s “Gateau Harry Potter” class in Boursies, France on the 4th, so sign up now! [link]

If you’re in Umea, Sweden on the 8th, stop by the Harry Potter party being put on by a student association. [link]

San Giorgio in Italy is having a Harry Potter festival on May 8th. [link]

If you’re in Warwickshire in the UK, Enchanted Tea Rooms is having a Harry Potter Fancy Dress Brunch on May 28th. [link]

On May 29th, if you have the urge to paint and happen to be in Burlington, Ontario, Hub of the Hammer is hosting a “If You Can Conjure a Patronus” paint class. [link]

And good news! If you’ve been procrastinating on your submission to the herbology comp, the deadline has been extended to the end of this month! Just get in touch with Totally Knuts on FB or Twitter.

As for everything I missed in April…

If you’re looking for a taste of last year’s Pedia Comp Club, the Hinky Punks released their song “Scarmageddon.” [link]

The second Lead Organizer for this year’s Pedia Comp Club took over the social media and started dropping hints. [link]

and Dream Quaffle released “Oh, Pink Lady” [link] AND “Chapter 33.” [link]

All these events and more can be found on the Potterhead Calendar on the website.

Here’s our final music break! The first song is “A Lesson on Secrets” by Alice Invictus.


That was “A Lesson on Secrets” by Alice Invictus [lyrics], “The Wings of Me” by Buckbeak’s Flight [lyrics], and “Expecto Patronum” by Sara Idani.

And another show comes to a close. Thanks for hanging out!

You know the drill, magical friends. If you heard a song you like, check out the transcript at WZRDRadioPod.com to get a copy for yourself! It’s more important than ever to support independent creators, and without our wizard rockers, we wouldn’t be here.

If you have two muggles dollars a month and want to support WZRD, you can check out the Patreon at Patreon.com/WZRDRadioPod. If you’d like to wrock some WZRD merch, check out Shop.WZRDRadioPod.com. The Patreon supports Yes All Witches and the “No Terfs” sticker supports the Scottish Trans Alliance and both keep WZRD going, so either way you can feel good about your choice.

Swish & Flick is still sending out PHYSICAL cds to magical friends who get their theme guesses in first, so tell me yours on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok at WZRDRadioPod. If social media repels you, you can also comment on the transcript or email me at WZRDRadioPod@gmail.com.

Until next time, magical friends: We’ll see you soon, mate.

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